One and Only (Part 5) | Jacob
He’d forgotten to mention that to Ethan. That he would never sleep with the same guy more than once while they were together. The rules needed to be clear.
In the last installment of One and Only
In the first installment of One and Only
Jacob ended the call and tossed his phone onto his bed. He was glad they had cleared that out of the way. His need for an open relationship. He loved Ethan with his whole heart, but there was still some wiggle room along the sides to fulfill his sexual appetite.
He’d told Ethan the truth during their call. He just found people to be interesting. Men, more so, of course. Their little quirks in bed. Their fantasies. Their kinks. Even talking to them brightened his day. Men were beautiful—all of them. He wanted to taste them all.
Jacob rolled and grabbed his phone. He needed to cancel tomorrow’s date. And all the ones for the next three weeks at least. Tomorrow would have been interesting.
Daniel liked ropes.
He’d slept with him before. He was worth a repeat.
He’d forgotten to mention that to Ethan. That he would never sleep with the same guy more than once while they were together. He opened his messages and sent him a text.
The rules needed to be clear. That much he knew.
Jacob swiped the screen on his phone. 11:10 pm. It was still early for him. He usually didn’t fall asleep until at least three in the morning on a weekend. Unlike when they were in university, he could mess around with a guy for hours until they were both sweaty and spent.
He needed to go out.
Jacob headed for his closet. He flicked through his night clothes as he tried to decide what he wanted to get up to tonight. He was restless. Ethan was the last guy he’d slept with this week. The rest of the week, he’d felt in limbo. It had given him a chance to think about them—us.
Us.
Such an unfamiliar concept.
He arrived at what he wanted to wear. Tight pink pants and a sheer, silver top. He felt like dancing. That’s what he needed. A little innocent bump and grind.
Walking into the nightclub, the thudding bass filled his chest. Spoke to his soul. He immediately spotted a group of friends. These were his people—this was their space.
“Hey, Jacob.” His friend Mikey swooped in and put an arm around his shoulders. “Didn’t think we’d see you tonight. Thought Daniel would have you all tied up by now.”
“Bit of a snag with that.” Jacob wandered over to the bar and ordered two crantinis. He was at least that many drinks behind everyone else. “You remember that guy? University guy.”
“The one you’re still in love with?”
“He moved back to Victoria.” Jacob cleared his throat. It was annoying having to yell everything. He leaned in close to Mikey as they slipped into some seats with their group.
“You gonna talk to him?” Mikey asked.
“Oh, no … it has gone so much further than that already.”
“How far? What on earth did you do?”
“We had the talk.”
“What talk?”
“The one I’ve never had before. The open relationship one.”
Mikey leaned back, furrowed his brow at Jacob, then shouted in his ear.
“So, you’re a thing now?”
Jacob nodded and sucked back one of his drinks.
“You don’t do things,” Mikey said, then took a sip of his cocktail. His brow was still furrowed. He shoved Jacob. “Then why aren’t you with Daniel?”
“I agreed to take a break from men for a few weeks.”
“Brutal. How are you holding up?”
Fuck off.
“I’m not a deviant. I can handle it.”
After throwing back a couple more crantinis, Jacob cruised onto the dance floor, prowled around until he found a hungry participant, and seriously invaded his personal space.
It was a dance he’d perfected.
Swaying to the music, his target placed his hands on Jacob’s hips and wandered in close behind him until his hard cock was pressed against Jacob’s ass.
Jacob leaned back into it. His cock and his chest.
He hummed as the guy wrapped his arms around his waist and ground against him. The anticipated hot breath appeared on his cheek. “Do you want to get out of here?”
Jacob’s gut clenched. He was ripe for a good fucking. But he had promised Ethan.
“Not tonight, sweetheart. I’m off the market … temporarily.”
The guy kissed his ear. “Find me when you’re free again.” Then Jacob was alone. It was an uncomfortable feeling. He should have been heading out the door with someone.
Maybe he was a deviant.
The thought led Jacob back to the bar. Drink after drink—after drink. His friends eventually had to haul him out of there and put him in a cab. He didn’t remember much after that.
During the early morning hours, Jacob spent much of his time with his head in the toilet. So far, monogamy wasn’t looking good on him. He laid his head on the cold porcelain. Love was the only thing holding him to this agreement. Love and the stirrings of something so much deeper.
His body shook as he sobbed into the toilet.
Something so much deeper.
It was there.
And he was terrified.
When Jacob finally came to, it was three in the afternoon. His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten in twenty hours. He fell out of bed onto his hands and knees.
The room was still spinning.
The older he got, the longer it took to recover after a night out drinking. At thirty-six, he was starting to feel like an old man. Aside from work, his life had been one long party.
Drinking and fucking. Fucking and drinking.
Why on earth was he pulling Ethan into that life? He loved the man too much. He flopped down on the floor and rolled onto his back. How his love had survived so many years apart, he wasn’t sure. Ethan was never far from his thoughts. Even when he was with other guys.
Jacob slapped his hand over his eyes. Maybe that’s why he did it—fucked his way through life. He’d been trying to wipe out his feelings for Ethan.
Now, Ethan was back in life.
He’d gotten ugly with his face in the toilet. Sobbing. His face was streaked with tears. His nose running—face mottled. All sorts of things were shifting around inside him, threatening everything he loved about his life. The excessive alcohol had brought it to the surface.
He lifted his phone and opened his text messages.
His friend Mikey would set him straight.
Jacob: “I’m in trouble.”
Mikey: “Why are you in trouble?”
Jacob: “I’ve got these weird feelings when I think about him.”
Mikey: “Like what? Stomach cramps. What?”
Jacob set his phone on his chest. He wasn’t sure how to articulate what he was feeling. It was foreign to him. He scowled and lifted his phone. His thoughts had gathered and become clear.
Jacob: “I can see a future with him.”
Mikey: “Oh, jeez. You are in trouble.”
Jacob: “What do I do?”
Mikey: “Honestly. Run with it. We can’t keep playing the game forever.”
Jacob: “You were supposed to talk me out of it.”
Mikey: “You’re a sweet guy. You deserve a little happiness.”
Jacob: “Not sure I agree. I need to think.”
Mikey: “Sounds like you’ll have a few weeks to do that.”
Jacob: “Don’t remind me.”
Jacob tossed his phone onto the carpet. He was exhausted. But he needed to haul his ass out to the kitchen. Mac & Cheese sounded like the solution to his complaining gut.
That and a cigarette.
He clambered to his feet and stumbled down the hallway, using the walls to get him to his destination. He only made it as far as the living room sofa.
He flopped down on it, leaned back, and stared at the ceiling. He was in crisis. He fell over onto his side and looked at his phone. He wanted to do something he shouldn’t.
Don’t do it.
Don’t do it.
Fuck it.
His fingers and emotions took over.
Ethan’s contact screen.
“I need you.” And his address.
There was no answer. Ethan was probably busy with his kids. That would be a constant in their relationship. No weekends together. Jacob typically worked during the week. Aside from the occasional Saturday, he only had weekends off. How were they going to make this work?
He closed his eyes. His stomach would have to wait. He curled up and fell asleep. The sound of the doorbell and the resulting lurch toward the door were unwelcome intrusions.
Until he saw who it was.
He could see through the glass. Ethan stood outside his townhouse door. Ethan kept peering over his shoulder at a burgundy minivan parked in Jacob’s driveway.
Jacob opened the door.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d come,” he said.
“Well, I did. Can I come in?”
Jacob looked past Ethan’s shoulder to his driveway. The van was rocking around. He had his kids with him. Jacob felt guilty in all kinds of ways for hauling Ethan away from them.
“You didn’t have to—”
“You have no idea how much I did.”
Ethan gripped the front of Jacob’s shirt and walked him backward into the front entry. Jacob groaned as Ethan pressed his back against the wall and captured his mouth.
There was so much desperation and passion in that kiss that it nearly melted Jacob into the wall. It took him a moment to recover when Ethan stepped away.
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